Katie paid the price of falling for a control freak
07:41 GMT, 4 July 2012
Trapped: Tom Cruise is said to have dictated what Katie wore and even which friends she saw
Throughout their ill-fated marriage, an all-controlling Tom Cruise is said to have dictated what Katie Holmes should wear and even which friends she should see.
As his wife became more and more subdued, a shadow of her former bubbly self, her father — a lawyer who has helped mastermind her application for divorce — is said to have asked: ‘What happened to my little girl’
And yet who can blame her for falling for a man who at the time was the most powerful star in Hollywood Cruise is rich, handsome and, above all, controlling — a trait Holmes seems to have mistaken for love.
It’s an easy enough error: there are plenty of women who still long for a strong, handsome alpha male to come along and take charge of their lives for them.
They yearn for a man who, rather like the hero of the best-selling book, Fifty Shades Of Grey, is commanding, but who never forces them to do anything they don’t want to do; a man who takes charge without ever becoming domineering or a bully.
This perfect man, in case you’re wondering, also always holds the door open, is never smothering or patronising, always notices a new haircut and wouldn’t dream of saying: ‘Do you think it’s wise to have another glass’
And guess what This paragon doesn’t exist. So beware the Prince Charming who puts you on a pedestal and announces his love for you to the whole world. It may seem intoxicating at the time — but it won’t be long before it becomes merely toxic, as he tries to take over your life.
Some years ago, a friend met just such a man — and, like Katie Holmes, fell instantly in love.
He took her to the best restaurants and showered her with champagne and compliments. She thought she’d found her soulmate — but within a matter of months things began to turn sour. He started denouncing her for living in an unfashionable area of London, became increasingly possessive and even criticised how she dressed. (The worst was ‘You look like a waitress,’ when she turned up in a black skirt and a white shirt).
My confident, popular friend became increasingly submissive and timid. It was only when one concerned friend suggested she read Sandra Horley’s book Power And Control: Why Charming Men Can Make Dangerous Lovers that she finally realised his behaviour towards her was a form of abuse, and summoned the courage to leave him.
According to Horley, who’s spent 20 years helping victims of domestic violence, men with a tendency to abuse women are easily spotted. ‘They’re usually the life and soul of the party — the outgoing man who loves to be the centre of attention,’ she says.
‘Often their partner will change their behaviour and become submissive and timid. Domestic violence isn’t always about physical abuse. Emotional abuse can be just as devastating.’
Who knows exactly what went on in the Hollywood mansion Katie Holmes shared not just with her Scientologist husband and daughter Suri, but also Cruise’s mother, sister and two children from his marriage to Nicole Kidman
What we do know is that, as a mother who rarely sees her older children, Kidman has paid a terrible price for being swept off her feet by Cruise all those years ago. Katie Holmes is doing all she can to avoid a similar fate with little Suri. I fervently hope she succeeds.
Treadmill bikini won't work out
Mature but marvellous: Marie Helvin, aged almost 60, looks great in a bikini – but most of us couldn't stomach her fitness regime
Former model Marie Helvin, who turns 60 next month, believes all older women should feel as happy as she is to slip into a bikini. To prove her point, she’s been photographed looking stunning in a two-piece swimsuit.
The bikini Marie is wearing is certainly a masterpiece of design: the high waist helps eliminate wobble, while the push-up top clearly has no truck with sag.
Indeed, I might have been tempted to buy one myself had I not then read Marie’s account of her ‘perfect weekend’. This revealed that even on a Saturday she’s in the gym by 5.30am, doesn’t drink and is on a permanent diet with ‘very few carbs’.
So if you’re planning on having any sort of a life, I wouldn’t rush out to buy that bikini just yet.
We already knew U.S. Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney was a school bully who pinned to the ground a classmate he thought was gay and cut off his fringe.
Now we learn from his eldest son that on long family drives when they were children he and his brothers were allowed to go to the lavatory only when the car needed petrol.
And I, for one, find the notion that this brute might one day run the world’s most powerful nation absolutely terrifying.
Why we mothers hate Mondays
A survey by skincare firm Simple apparently reveals that women spend more time getting ready for work on Monday than any other day of the week, in order to make a good impression on colleagues.
I am not one of them. The reason for this is that Monday morning follows Sunday evening, which is supposed to be a time for relaxation — a glass of wine, a DVD and an early night — but is for most working mothers the busiest time of the week.
We race around checking school uniforms, filling in diaries with playdates and games fixtures while simultaneously making a bolognese sauce to freeze for later in the week and listening to the seven-year-old read.
And by the time Monday morning arrives, most of us count it an achievement merely to have got out of the house.
Hero Ben is a shining light
Hero: Ben Parkinson, 27, the most seriously wounded soldier to survive the war in Afghanistan, carried the Olympic Flame through his home town of Doncaster
six years since paratrooper Ben Parkinson’s legs were amputated after
he was blown up by an anti-tank mine in Afghanistan. In addition, he
broke his pelvis, arms, hands, fingers and jaw, and was severely brain
He was flown home and by the time his mother Diane arrived at the intensive care ward, he’d been given the last rites.
then, he has made a remarkable recovery — but without much thanks to
the military. The MoD didn’t want Ben to have an operation to help him
sit in a wheelchair, says Diane, because rehabilitation was so
discharged from Headley Court with ‘no care package, no carers, no
provision’. She adds that the MoD has ‘very little care for the soldier
as a person. The private soldier, the enlisted soldier, is very much a
commodity. These soldiers’ lives have never been worth a great deal’.
week, Ben (right) carried the Olympic Flame 300 metres without crutches
— a testament to his fighting spirit and that of his mother. She never
gave up on him. That the Ministry of Defence did is shameful.
Since having children, I find I’m far too scared to drive the way I used to on the motorway — permanently in the fast lane and definitely over the speed limit — and have instead become the sort of driver I used to despise, clogging the middle lane at a steady 70. And now — oh joy! — Damon Hill has said most people (including him) aren’t safe to drive over 55mph, and the idea of raising the limit to 80 makes him shudder. So I’m moving into the slow lane. If it’s good enough for a Formula 1 champion, it’s good enough for me.
Depressing: Rihanna has reunited with Chris Brown, the boyfriend who assaulted her – and her father has given the relationship his blessing
The only thing worse than learning that Rihanna seems to be back with Chris Brown (above), the boyfriend who attacked her, is the news that her father — who allegedly beat her mother when Rihanna was a child — has given the relationship his blessing.
I know I should be pleased that a Cambridge student who sat her exams 28 hours after giving birth got a first. But as someone who for months after giving birth wasn’t capable of remembering so much as a doctor’s appointment, let alone passing an exam, it’s just made me rather cross.
to scientists, the secret to a longer life is to eat 40 per cent less. I
do hope they’re wrong. Apart from anything else, it means the emaciated
Posh stands a very good chance of living for ever.