These undead horrors should be buried without a trace
22:49 GMT, 3 May 2012
SILENT HOUSE (15)
Verdict: Not even one to rent
JUAN OF THE DEAD (15)
Verdict: Shaun was livelier
These horror offerings are mediocre. Silent House is a remake of a Uruguayan film of the same name, in which a young woman wandered around a dark house being terrified.
The American version, by Chris Kentis and Laura Lau (who made Open Water), makes more sense than the original and has a reasonably gripping first hour.
Elizabeth Olsen weeps, shudders and screams with conviction.
Scroll down to watch the trailers
Remake: Elizabeth Olsen as Sarah, Eric Sheffer-Stevens as Peter and Adam Trese as John in Silent House
The problem is that the remake hasn’t solved the essential defect of the first film.
The handheld style suggests this is documentary realism, but the film turns out to be the polar opposite.
The twist is a cheat that undermines everything that’s gone before and reduces it to the level of a shaggy dog story.
■ Juan Of The Dead is, like its title, a shameless rip-off of Shaun Of The Dead. It’s probably best enjoyed while drunk.
Watched with a clear head, laughs are few and far between, and the biggest come from the underfunded special-effects.
The most diverting aspect is the setting — for this black comedy zombie movie hails from Havana.
Mild amusement can be had from the idea that the Cuban authorities try to persuade their citizens that zombies are political dissidents and part of an American plot to destabilise the region.
But at 100 minutes, the film is at least 20 minutes too long, and there aren’t nearly enough fresh ideas to save this from an early cinematic grave.
Now watch the trailers