The A-Z of love: O is for obsession
22:25 GMT, 28 May 2012
James Kerr and Matthew Johnstone celebrate the A-Z of love. This week, O is for obsession.
In the film Play Misty For Me, Clint Eastwood is seduced and then finally stalked by an obsessive fan. It doesn’t end well.
In real life, obsession is equally destructive. Often related to alcohol and drugs, it is love as an addiction — and not a good place to be.
Addictive trait: Obsession is often related to alcohol and drugs
In 2006, Dr John D. Moore defined what he called the Obsessive Love Wheel, explaining the pattern.
Instantaneous and overwhelming, this feels like love, but is it’s opposite. It’s called being ‘hooked on their look’ and is too intense, too fast.
The fear. Uncertainty and insecurity. Paranoia about infidelity — and accusations. Controlling behaviour — emotional blackmail, rage, isolation, verbal and physical. If it feels ‘all wrong’, it probably is. Run!
Stalking begins: ‘drive-bys’, random pocket searches, emails scoured for imaginary clues. You receive repetitive, often angry phone calls. If you haven’t left, leave now, because the next stage is:
The obsessive feels rage, anger, and plots revenge. For some, there remains an inability to let go, leading to continued stalking and increasing danger. Take action — call the police if you have to.