'I feel so vulnerable': Victoria Pendleton on the unpredictability of Strictly and the torture of never knowing if she is in the lead
02:00 GMT, 13 November 2012
Victoria Pendleton is starting to feel the pressure on Strictly, but far from the laborious dance routines it is the fact that the Olympian never knows if she is in the lead with the public… and it's driving her nuts.
In a revealing new interview the dazzling cyclist has spoken of the torture of her name never being called first by the judges, how Strictly leaves her feeling vulnerable and just why being at the mercy of the public vote leaves her feeling stressed.
In a new column for the Radio Times Victoria gives a unique insight into the torture of waiting to know if she is safe or being sent home.
Torture: Victoria Pendleton finds it tough to cope with the results show, saying she wants to know if she is in the lead
Vulnerability: Victoria Pendleton said it is the unpredictability of Strictly which makes her feel exposed and on edge
She said: 'If the results on a Sunday night really are announced in no particular order, why have they never announced my name first Under that spotlight those few minutes feel like a lifetime. It’s so hard performing week in and week out not knowing what people’s opinion of you really is.
'As a dancer you just don’t know how many people are voting for you – whether you have 'the public’s support and are coasting through each week or if you are scraping through with only a few votes more than the people in the dance-off.'
And it is not only the stress that is getting to the 32-year-old, it is the difficulty of not knowing if she can ever have a Saturday night free.
She sparkles: Victoria, with Strictly partner Brendan Cole, said the experience of being on reality TV is quite unnerving
The winner takes it all: Victoria is used to taking the winning spot and the not knowing how many public votes she has got is proving difficult
Olympian Victoria Pendleton has said her new dancing body is making her 'depressed' after she has lost 9lbs of muscle
Read the full column in the Radio Times out now
After planning training dates and competitions years in advance the cyclist said she is finding it tough to cope with the uncertainty, saying: 'I’ve only just come to the end of a four-year plan that dominated my life – that I’m not good with uncertainty.
'Not knowing what I’m doing next week is very unnerving.'
Although the show does have one amazing positive for Victoria, the costumes.
She said: 'I love dressing up and trying on clothes.
'Before the show started we had an amazing day where we went into the costume designers’ studio and looked through racks of dresses from previous contestants.'
The Olympian said every girl should have a chance to go on Strictly for the day, if only for the glittery gowns.
Read the full column in Radio Times, out now.