Be tall, have a hairy chest and know how to make a rattlesnake out of styrofoam: Adorable six-year-olds' advice for father-to-be on how to be a good dad
21:57 GMT, 27 June 2012
It's a question that haunts many a father-to-be in the days before his first child is born – how am I going to be a good dad
But now, thanks to a class of infant schoolchildren in America, the perfect guide on fatherly duties is available in a handy three minute internet clip.
Not all the advice is as simple as remembering feeding times and learning how to change a diaper.
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Fathers rule! Shy little Lucy (centre) is particularly enthusiastic when it comes to discussing the virtues of dads
According to the first graders at the South Loop School in Chicago, a dad also needs to have a hairy chest, stubbly chin and live in a mansion.
It helps if he wears a tuxedo, has stretchy arms and legs and often takes his kids to the park to play baseball.
And according to three of the six-year-olds, it also helps if they can keep their child alive.
The video, which has already attracted 36,000 hits on YouTube was posted by Mike Danforth and Ian Chillag as part of a new podcast called How to Do Everything.
Listeners are asked to post their questions to the duo who then seek out 'experts' to help them answer them.
Serious stuff: Ellery (right) is clear to point out that she is six-and-ten-twelfths and that you may call her Ellie
Ummmm: Another youngster appears to get a little lost for words (left), but his friend helpfully fills in the gaps
So far they have attempted to solve the problem of how to send a polite email, how to burp like a champ and how to look like you know what you’re talking about when dressage comes on at the Olympics.
They have also managed to start a fire using Dorito crisps and offer fellow Americans tips on how to 'speak British'.
The 'how to be a dad' question posed by Daniel from Denver, Colorado.
He said: 'My wife and I are having our first baby in about 10 weeks and I need some tips on how to be a great dad.'
The pupils in Miss Strieter’s class were only too happy to put him straight.
Creative instincts: One little girl (right) explains that dads need to have 'awesome ideas like using Styrofoam to make a model of a rattle snake'
Essential requirements: For another girl (left), hairy chests are an important prerequisite for fatherhood
Their film starts with a blonde child, arms folded across her chest and a serious expression.
'My name is Ellery. I am six-and-ten-twelfths. You can also call me Ellie if you would like,' she says.
She and her friends offer Daniel pearls of wisdom to include the fact that 'most dads usually wear jeans and have a lipstick-less mouth' and that it is important to have 'good eyesight'.
One little girl with dark hair and a gap in her teeth says: 'A perfect dad for me would be kind and helpful and we would live in a mansion.'
Afterthought: Never kill your child, adds one little boy (centre), with a grin
Another child adds: 'Dads need to have awesome ideas like using Styrofoam to make a model of a rattle snake.'
She continues: 'Dads are really fun to have. We teach our dad things and our dad teaches us about things. I don’t know the word for it but it’s like, awesome. It's really cool.'
One boy in the class claims all you need to be a good dad is to be 'suitable'.
But as an after-thought he adds: 'One thing a dad should never do is kill his baby.'
All agree that the most important attribute you need to have to be a good dad is love.