The Prince of political incorrectness: New book celebrates Duke of Edinburgh's wonky wit and wisdom…and all his verbal blunders
Prince Philip: Wise Words and Golden Gaffes by Phil Dampier & Ashley Walton
17:04 GMT, 19 November 2012
Prince Philip has never been one to mince his words.
Though he has often managed to make mincemeat of certain situations through his choice of them.
Now his best gaffes, blunders, linguistic faux pas and eyebrow-raisers have been chronicled in a new book, entitled (helpfully) Prince Philip: Wise Words And Golden Gaffes.
Prince Philip – about whom a new book of his best gaffes has been written – with the Queen at Royal Ascot this year
So we are reminded of how the Duke told a one-legged man he could 'smuggle a bottle of gin out of the country in that artificial foot'; asked the Samaritans volunteer if he had ever attempted suicide; and said an exhibition of Ethiopian art looked like 'the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from school art lessons''.
Composed by two royal correspondents, Phil Dampier – who has been writing about The Family for 26 years – and Ashley Walton – formerly of the Daily Express – the book also features illustrations by Richard Jolley, a cartoonist whose work appears in the Mail On Sunday, Private Eye and The Spectator.
Blunderbuss: Prince Philip, left, is the subject of a new book, right, about his knack for saying the most controversial and inappropriate thing possible at any given moment
Of the Queen's husband, now 91, the writers say: 'He can be controversial, irascible, and sometimes downright rude. But would we have it any other way'
Published by Barzipan, the book features the Duke of Edinburgh's opinions on the environment, over-population, religion, sport, politics, the press and his own family.
Cartoon gaffes: Richard Jolfey's cartoon quips illustrate the new book
When he was introduced to one local and one student from Sheffield, he asked:
Do you two understand each other
At Salford University:
The best thing to do with a degree is to forget it.
After marrying the Queen, he complained to a friend:
I am nothing but a bl**dy amoeba, the only man in the country not allowed to give his name to his own children.
To a friend:
How could I be unfaithful to the Queen There is no way she could possibly retaliate.
During horse driving trials in Cumbria: 'Come on, you bl**dy idiots!'
To an animal rights protestor shouting slogans at Cambridge University:
Can't you think of anything else to say
On a visit to Swansea he met four local belly dancers and told them:
I thought Eastern women just say around smoking pipes and eating sweets all day.
To a school band in Cairns, Australia:
You were playing yuour instruments, weren't you Or do you have tape recorders under your seat
To a matron at a Caribbean hospital: 'You have mosquitoes, I have the press.'
Presented with a pair of green Bermuda shorts on a visit to the island:
I'm not going to put them on now.
After being told Madonna was singing the Die Another Day theme at the film's world premiere at the Royal Albert Hall:
Are we going to need earplugs
To a female solicitor:
I thought it was against the law these days for a woman to solicit.
To Stoke-on-Trent MP Joan Walley:
Where do you represent
Stoke, she said
Ghastly place, isn't it
On a walkabout in Bromley, Kent, when he spotted a 90-year-old woman in a wheelchair, wrapped in a foil blanket to fend off the cold: 'Are they going to put you in the oven next'
Prince Philip: Wise Words and Golden Gaffes (Barzipan Publishing, 8.95) is available to buy now from Amazon.