Oh God, it smacks of wenches and dressing up boxes! LIZ JONES says Pippa Middleton should have taken style tips from Kate at the weekend's society wedding
20:29 GMT, 2 July 2012
Oh dear. Oh God no. Never mind that Pippa Middleton attended a wedding at the weekend without a man on her arm. Who cares She has enough chutzpah not to need a prop at a social occasion.
But why on earth did she wear this sort of Heidi rick rack nonsense by London designer Alice Temperley
Sister act: The Middleton sisters at the wedding of their Marlborough College friend Alice St John Webster
Where do I begin with the wrongness of this frock Well, it needed a jolly good iron, for starters. The colour, a sort of dentures salmon, is hideous.
The print, a black sort of fern, ghastly. But mostly it is the design that is so unflattering: the ghastly, too tight bodice.
The too short, too ‘little girl’ skirt that failed to show off Pippa’s famous curves. But above all, the leg o’ mutton sleeves, which flatter no one.
They smack of wenches, and dressing up boxes. They call to mind the fiasco of It’s A Royal Knockout.
Pippa will never get a date if she carries on wearing clothes like this. The outfit is not formal enough for a wedding. This dress needs to be torn into squares, and used as dusters.
Front to back: Pippa Middleton, left, looked 'frumpy' in salmon pink at the wedding, while the Duchess of Cambridge, right, 'on the other hand, can do no wrong'
I’ve just found out this frock costs 380! Someone would have to be insane to pay that for this.
Pippa looks frumpy, infantile, wide of hip and rude (to the bride, for not dressing up properly), all at the same time.
More from Liz Jones…
LIZ JONES FASHION THERAPY: How one charity is using surplus stock to help nervous housewives get back to work
Pontificating I'll leave that to men – while I pose in a bikini
Why Holly’s BETRAYING women by going barefaced: Says Liz Jones, who argues real feminists trowel on the make-up
Usually she will only wear black. But now Liz has fallen in love with pretty pale pinks…
LIZ JONES: We killed my dad. So should we do the same for my mum
The day LIZ JONES joined Ascot's style Stasi: From the classy to the somewhat brassy, the ladies who got past the style police
Why women who starve themselves MUST be force-fed: Liz Jones backs the judge who ruled an anorexic girl must be kept alive against her will
Liz Jones: In which I lap up some luxury
VIEW FULL ARCHIVE
used to show in New York, but didn’t quite pass muster: the very girly,
twee, fey, bohemian garments are meant to evoke the English
countryside, but in New York they looked too skimpy, and not sexy at
She shows during
London Fashion Week these days, and her collection for autumn/winter
2012/13 was very ‘folk’: you know, floral embroidery and clogs.
American Vogue gave her the following damning review: ‘a vision less than exquisitely drawn’.
Kate, on the other hand, can do no wrong in my eyes.
The blossom print dress by ethical label Beulah has full length leg o’ mutton sleeves (shown on the catwalk by Burberry aeons ago, and called ‘balloon’ sleeves), which are more flattering than those worn at half mast.
I do love Kate when she abandons that very narrow silhouette and lets it all billow a bit. Pink is great on her, but I can tell she was toning it all down for this wedding, not wanting to hog the limelight and overshadow all and sundry.
My only gripe with Kate’s outfit is her nude LK Bennett shoes. Please let these ones air and recover their shape! But I have to report I bought this pair last week, for not much change from 200 (I was encouraged to buy the ‘shoe moisturiser’, at 5, which I must massage into the shoes each time I wear them, to protect the patent leather).
And I have to say they are comfortable, and go with just about everything. They elongate the leg, and the slim platform means you can stand for ages. I understand why Kate loves them. Just not why she loves them quite so much, at the cost of all other styles…