On National Orgasm Day a male writer breaks a bedroom taboo and admits: Men fake it too!
16:28 GMT, 31 July 2012
17:43 GMT, 31 July 2012
Recently an online poll at website AskMen.com surveyed 50,000 people on their bedroom antics … with some liberating results for the brotherhood, says journalist and men's issues columnist Peter Lloyd.
Although a third of women said they never needed to fake a climax, a quarter claimed they did every single time they had sex.
But this survey had an added twist. In what can only be described as breaking new ground, a third of men also admitted to feigning orgasms. Not once or twice, but just as much as their female counterparts. And I'm really pleased they did.
New research shows that men fake orgasm as often as women
Why because it might just re-distribute a sexual responsibility which men have single-handedly shouldered for far too long.
Finally, after years of programmes like Sex and the City claiming that a man's duty is a woman's sexual satisfaction (and never vice versa – after all, that would be sexist), men seem willing to admit that girls don't always get it right either. Good on them.
After all, in an age of erotic literacy, there's no excuse for people not pulling their own sexual weight.
The timing of this revelation couldn't have been better. Yes, it may have raised a few female eyebrows, but given that half the population is currently reading Fifty Shades of Grey, the message has arrived right on cue. Mainly because – for most blokes – the concept of faking it is nothing new. In fact, it's been one of our best-kept secrets for years.
Scratch beneath the surface and several of my male mates admit that – when a sexual situation isn't working for them as much as their female partner – they politely fake their way out of it.
My response Fair enough. After all, it's nothing us men haven't been listening to forever. And, just like we are, women will also now be on their toes.
Writer Peter Lloyd says it is about time women realised that it's not all about them in the bedroom
Given that there should be little room for complacency or entitlement in the bedroom, this can only be a good thing.
The other bright side is that it directly challenges the myth that men are grateful for any female touch, any time. According to the wider world male sexuality is shallow and simple. A message which is dangerous for both genders.
Since the advent of the pill, women have been told that they could – and should – be having orgasms, because men have them at the drop of a hat. Clearly, from the aforementioned statistics, this isn't true. Especially when our other sexual organ – the brain – is fed endless messages that we must do better or face humiliation. It's offensive. It's also not just our responsibility. It's a mutual thing.
Now, thanks to this study, women can no longer lay back and assume that any dissatisfaction isn't mutual. And, according to the tens of thousands of respondents who took part, it is.
Forty per cent of men were only 'somewhat satisfied' with their sex lives and said there was 'room for improvement', while 22 per cent said they had no sex lives at all. That's sad stuff.
Therefore, in today's age of over-sharing, perhaps us boys should be speaking up more often to ensure we get what we want, when we want it – just like women are encouraged to.
The sexual revolution certainly kick-started a change in how men and women have sex with each other.
Now, thanks to this latest revelation, it might just have come full-circle.