'When it comes to motherhood there is no 'choice' – nature is in charge not us': New mother and 35-year-old graduate admits that she has regrets at starting a family so late
09:19 GMT, 23 October 2012
09:30 GMT, 23 October 2012
A new survey says that as women we are worlds apart from our grandmothers generation when it comes to motherhood and are more interested in our careers. Lucy Connolly, 35, a graduate from Liverpool and mother to six month old Sadie Belle thinks this is a short-sighted view.
My maternal grandmother did not have her first baby until she was 31 as until the second world war she worked as a nurse – and in those days women had to leave the NHS if they even got married, let alone became pregnant.
My own mother, a graduate, was 25 when she had the first of her four children in 1977 and again faced discrimination. She found her salaried position taken off her because she was expecting.
Is it any wonder that our generation have it ingrained in us that having a baby will mean the end of your career
When Lucy moved away from London when she was pregnant aged 34 the reality was quite different
After graduating with a 2:1 I spent my 20s working hard to progress at my job in a male dominated industry. I never considered having a baby as an option.
Living in London in my rented flat none of my peers had children and there were few women at work who managed to juggle work and motherhood with the travelling and late nights in the office.
Lucy enjoyed her twenties partying in London
For this reason I never felt the pressure of a biological clock – after all I would regularly see women ten years old than me popping out of Jojo Maman Bebe in Hampstead and high-profile career women like Mariella Frostrup spending her 30s in a yacht with George Clooney then casually popping out two babies in her 40s.
But when I moved away from London when I was pregnant aged 34 the reality was quite different.
Pushing my six month old daughter Sadie around the park around where I grew up I feel older than some mums and when I see my peers from school their children are usually much older than mine.
When I see school-aged brothers and sister charging around together it makes me feel sad that I may have left it too late to have a big family
Many are climbing the property ladder having not spent a decade blowing cash on commuting and crazy London rents.
But equally they stop and coo over my baby and say they miss the baby years which passed in a blur.
I would not have chosen to have my first child at 35 but like Kate Silverton (40) I struggled to have a baby, likely to have been effected by my age. In short – the women at the fertility clinic that I attended were not younger than me.
Positives about being an older mum are that my 20s were spent working, travelling and only having to worry about myself.
Hilary Duff is a mother at 25 whilst Liv Tyler is a 35-year-old mother
Now I don’t mind spending my Saturday night making baby food instead of going on a night out.
But part of the reason for that is how grateful I am to be a mum at all and if I had missed that opportunity because of my age it would have been devastating.
The surveyfails to take into account that when it comes to motherhood there is no 'choice' – nature is in charge not us.