Christmas turkey comes early with corny Nativity
08:10 GMT, 23 November 2012
NATIVITY 2: DANGER IN THE MANGER (U)
Verdict: Ho, ho, ho No, no, no!
The first Nativity was a corny, amateurish shambles, but it had that hard-to-define quality of likeability. Its sequel has none.
Taking over from Martin Freeman, who’s currently inhobbiting bigger things, a hapless David Tennant plays a primary school teacher who has the poor judgment to take a job in a school run by a criminally negligent headmistress (Pam Ferris) who has appointed her dangerously insane nephew, ‘Mr Poppy’ (Marc Wootton), as a classroom assistant.
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Hideous: Marc Wootton and David Tennant in the disastrous Nativity 2
Even more than in the first film, this remarkably annoying character does his best to imperil children’s lives.
Having abducted them illegally from their families in order to enter a Welsh singing competition, Mr Poppy takes them — and a stolen baby — white-water rafting and abseiling down cliffs with an irresponsibility that in any civilised society would get him locked up.
Amazingly, in this film he’s meant to be the hero.
Just as worthy of censure is writer-director Debbie Isitt, especially for co-writing the atrocious songs that bring the proceedings to a grisly climax, and labouring the schmaltzy religious metaphors that end with the children having an impromptu sex-education class in a Christmas stable.
It’s hideous to look at, and worse to hear.
Around me, I noticed jaws hanging open in disbelief at how a film this excruciating could get made. The Christmas turkey has arrived.
Now watch the trailer