JAN MOIR: Women blubbing at work – it's enough to make you weep
16:32 GMT, 1 June 2012
The geeks are coming to get us. And I don’t like it one bit. When Facebook was floated on the stock market last month, the company founders and bosses became instant gazillionaires.
First of all, well done them. Congrats for doing whatever it is they do (not a clue) on their social networking website (that neither).
Yet just because they are fantastically wealthy and important young people doing something that millions enjoy does not mean that everyone has to turn to them for advice on everything from asset managing to party snacks to getting promoted at work.
Teary me: Facebook chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg claims that crying at work and in public helps you to become a better leader
Let us please, please not sign up to the geek-as-guru manifesto any time soon, though it may already be too late for that. Far too late!
Take founder Mark Zuckerberg. He may be the richest geekoid in the cyber cosmos; he may be a very nice person, but he does occasionally come across as someone who can barely get his jumper on the right way in the morning. Someone for whom the niceties of a well-ordered life and an ironed shirt might come as a shock.
Following the group’s bungled stock market floatation, Zuckerberg is in Italy on a calamitous honeymoon with new wife, Priscilla Chan. Have you seen them
The couple are wandering around the streets of Rome dressed as if they have just turned up for the early-bird breakfast at a budget yoga retreat.
He’s wearing plastic slip-on sandals. She’s in trainers with a floaty skirt. Smarten up, kids! Make an effort.
You’re millionaires-in-love on a
once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon in the Eternal City — not a couple of
stoners searching for the cheapest gingko berries in the Live Longer
section of Whole Foods.
Mark took Priscilla out for dinner to a trattoria and didn’t leave a
tip for the waiters. Mamma mia! Not cool, in every way you could
Stoner billionaires: Mark Zuckerberg and his new wife Priscilla Chan have been wandering around the streets of Rome dressed as if they have just turned up for the early-bird breakfast at a budget yoga retreat
On another day of sightseeing, the internet genius couldn’t figure out how to use an Italian ATM machine.
When it comes to being a sophisticato man of the world, Mr Facebook is not setting a very good example, is he
now this. Worse news reaches me from the company HQ in Silicon Valley.
In Zuckerberg’s absence, his colleague and Facebook chief operating
officer Sheryl Sandberg is doling out career advice to young women
hoping to succeed in the workplace.
Her status-boosting secret Tears and tantrums, lady people. As torrential and thick as you can lay it on, sister.
Incredibly, Sheryl claims that crying at work and in public helps you to become a better leader.
This week, the 42-year-old entrepreneur told graduating female students at Harvard Business School to have no fears for tears. And not only can tears help women succeed at work, SS also insisted that crying was actually a big part of her own success.
‘I’ve cried at work. I’ve told people I’ve cried at work . . . I try to be myself, to bring my whole self to the workplace,’ she said, passing around a box of soggy Kleenex.
Oh God. I have worked with women like Sheryl before. I suspect we all have.
Someone who wants to ‘share’ when you’re trying to do something important, such as expenses or online shoe shopping.
I suspect that Sheryl is one of those drama queens who sees the office as an extension of herself, and her co-workers as an audience more than anything else. An audience who just happen to be as fascinated as she is with her personal life.
She certainly admits to being the kind of working mother who uses a breast pump during conference calls and who leaves the office at 5.30pm every day to be with her family.
The kind of highly successful female boss who got where she is today through her own talents — but also because there were so many workmates around to pick up the slack.
Is that unfair Well, I certainly cannot respect any executive, from within or without the geek sphere, who advises young women that crying in the workplace is a good thing.
In fact, it’s the most irresponsible bit of career advice a woman could hear, apart from ‘wear a short skirt when you go to see Boris’.
Boo-hooing and blubbing might be acceptable in an environment where everyone is wearing sandals, a hoodie and sucking on a frozen yoghurt — but it just won’t wash in the real world.
The Facebook COO says that in California today turning on the workplace waterworks is no big deal because attitudes towards an office blub have changed.
Well, maybe they have at Facebook, but I doubt that is the case anywhere else.
Back here on Planet Normal, office tears are seen as professional suicide. Big girls don’t cry — they just get on with it.
They do not accept that sobbing when things don’t go your way can be a battle cry to be used strategically against other colleagues.
That’s just pathetic, Facebook people. Grow up. Put a proper pair of shoes on. Give the signor a tip. And understand that any woman crying at work lets all women down.
For office tears just reinforce the male belief that we are all unstable, hormonal and difficult. And there is nothing empowering about that.
Cheers not jeers will win the day
Swimmer Rebecca Adlington says she won’t look online during the Olympics because people are always posting hurtful things about her looks.
Footballer Mario Balotelli says he will walk off the pitch if he suffers racism at Euro 2012 in Poland and Ukraine.
It is pathetic that these young people are subject to such a barrage of personal odium.
High achievers: Footballer Mario Balotelliand Swimmer Rebecca Adlington
All their lives they have trained hard, done well, reached a peak of physical excellence and skill, which means they will be representing their country at the highest sporting level.
Yet there will always be someone out there trying to bring them down. Some socially dysfunctional troll in nylon underpants with filthy nails, no job and no friends, tip-tapping venom into cyberspace, just hoping to be noticed.
Then feasting off the spark of hurt inadvertently shown by the object of their displeasures.
It is probably the nearest thing to a human relationship these inadequates are ever going to have.
Adlington says she is going to ration herself by looking only occasionally on Twitter during the Games.
My advice is to stay off it completely. Why self-harm
Listen to the real world, and the roar of the crowd at your heels instead.
Balotelli must focus on the positive and do the same. If he walks off, the racists have won the battle, if not the war.
COVER BOY BECKS IS JUST TATTOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
David Beckham is all things to all women and all men. Pin-up. Sporting idol. Doting dad. Supreme taker of free kicks. Squeaky-voiced hero. Pants poser. Husband of Posh.
This week, he also became the first man to be featured on the cover of Elle, an event that caused a hormonal frisson among — the magazine’s editor claimed — legions of school-run mums.
Becks flex sex pecs Certainly, he is a lovely man, but I do wonder if he has wandered a little too far down the road of tattoo insanity.
In one of the pictures, he looks as though he is emerging from having his limbs double-dipped in a quagmire of Quink. Ugh.
Still, when not competing in a desperate race with Take That’s Gary Barlow to see who can get knighted first, he remains a dutiful husband and son.
He took his mum out for a pie-and-mash lunch this week, then was photographed dancing with his Nan and her friends. Nan dancing! What a guy.
Becks has also taken a 40 per cent pay cut to stay with LA Galaxy because his family love living in the U.S.
Is he the ultimate modern man Or is he too good to be true
Golf is to glamour what penguins are to the jitterbug
Golf is awkward, graceless, cheesy and always the last to be asked to dance at the sporting ball.
So hang on to your acrylic pastels and let the breeze inf late those gaudily checked breeks, for someone, somewhere has finally managed to look fashionable and groovy on a golf course.
In what insiders are calling a fashion miracle, Catherine Zeta-Jones climbed into a white dress and a fab hat — and for a brief, shining moment managed to make golf look glam this week.
At the three-day celebrity tournament hosted by her husband on Bermuda, where the couple have a home, CZJ looked well under par — which is actually GOOD, in golf terms, dontcha know.
Unfortunately, hubby Michael reverted to golf type in a hideous pinkstriped polo shirt, but you can’t have everything.
PS: Sharon Stone plays golf Who knew
Next you’ll be telling me that she’s had loads of plastic surgery and is dragging a boy barely out of his teens around Hollywood and telling everyone he is her boyfriend.
HOW DANES WON THE DUVET WAR
Hogging the duvet is the number one cause of arguments in Britain’s bedrooms, according to a study. What else do couples argue about in bedrooms I don’t want to know, unless it is over who’s going to read my column first on a Friday morning.
Yet duvet-rustling has become such a big issue that one in ten adults said they would ‘consider leaving’ because disturbed nights had become such a problem.
If it’s such an issue, why don’t we do what the Danes do In Denmark, double beds are made with two single duvet covers, not one tug-o-war double. Doh! Now why didn’t we think of that
Great jumpers, groovy lampshades, excellent pastries, inventors of Lego and fiendishly complicated chairs — now proof that the Danes are great in bed, too. It’s almost annoying.
PROTESTERS ARE JUST SHOW-OFFS
Protesters ain’t what they used to be. Once, you could rely on a protester to make a protest about something specific and to do so with a kind of furious eloquence.
To egg Thatch, to chain themselves to the railings of Downing Street, to throw themselves under a horse, to express their distress about the Poll Tax — all this and more.
Today’s lot seem to be just a bunch of show-offs with a vague grudge against something inchoate.
The Rupert Murdoch foam pie-thrower, the moron who nearly got decapitated at the Boat Race and now the anti-war protester who tried to accost Tony Blair at the Leveson Inquiry this week
All idiotic posh boys who wouldn’t know hardship if it kneecapped them. Please stop wasting everyone’s time.