Claudia Connell moans: Hoards of hysterical girls Must be the Next sale
Every year, around this time, I always get stupidly wound up by the same old things.
It usually starts with somebody sending me a sparkly card that sheds tiny little specks of glitter all over my flat.
The glitter particles seem to mate and multiply and I know that I will be finding them for the next six months.
Must-have: Why do so many go wild for the Next sale (posed by models)
It also wouldn’t be Christmas Eve if I didn’t promise to kick off the New Year by suing Sellotape, following 30 minutes spent trying to find the end of the damn stuff.
And I still haven’t quite made my peace with being charged 80 for a turkey, just because it had the odd stroll out before it ended up on my dinner table — especially since I have a mother who thinks meat must always be cooked for double the recommended time.
But the thing that really makes my blood pressure soar is a certain Boxing Day bunfight that has become almost as traditional as cold turkey and bubble and squeak.
I’m talking about hoards of hysterical women all elbowing each other out of the way.
Have they all had an open invitation to George Clooney’s place Is somebody handing out 50 notes
Desperate for a bargain: People fight to get into Next in Brent Cross at last year”s winter sale
Nope. They are there for the Next sale. Not Harrods. Not Selfridges. Next.
Some of them have even queued all night — which means they left the bosom of their family and the company of their friends on Christmas Day to bed down on a cold shopping centre floor. And for what The chance to dress like a hotel receptionist from Milton Keynes at a fraction of the cost it would normally cost to dress like one.
Holiday on a luxury yacht No thanks
The pictures have already started coming in. First off, there was Tamara Ecclestone, next Justin Bieber and it won’t be long before we can throw a Coleen Rooney and Kate Moss into that mix, too.
A motley collection of celebs who will all be enjoying some winter sun on board a luxury yacht.
Jealous Don’t be, because as well as being spectacularly naff, a holiday on a boat is just about one of the worst vacations you can ever have.
You won’t be able to walk in a straight line for a week afterwards, and no matter how posh the vessel is it will still have toilets that smell like a Victorian sewer.
LIZ JONES IS AWAY