Happy birthday Kai: As he turns two, we look at how the Rooney”s son has become the most photographed and Tweeted toddler in Britain
November 2, 2009: Like all the family, me Nan and Grandad were dead proud when I was born. So they let the neighbours know with nicely understated subtlety, left. Right – May 2010: Seven months old and I”m so proud of Dad. He just won another Premiership title. People say I”m a chip off the old block – Dad”s a big King Edward and I”m a little Jersey Royal
July 2010: Dad was s”posed to be in South Africa this week, but we”ve gone to Barbados instead. The World Cup”s on the telly, but Dad doesn”t want to watch it. I wonder why
May 2011: Dad”s a big softie. He”s even put me picture on his washbag. Not sure he opens it, though
May: Me first pitch invasion! Dad”s won the title again and I”m his little medallion man and, right, June: When we go to Barbados I have to cover meself up from head to toe because of the sun. Mam got me a burkini just like Nigella”s
June: I love going on holiday with me dad. We sit on the sand and he explains all the things I need to know about life, like how to tell the ref that, with all due respect, you politely beg to differ about the offside rule
June: Mam”s always Tweeting pics of me. She says the best way to stop people intruding on our privacy is for us to intrude on it first!
September: We”re football royalty, so I”ve got to learn to ride like the Queen. I”ve even got an etiquette teacher. Now I don”t talk about me Mam. I say, “One”s mother and one”!, and right, July: We have strict rules in our house. In public, we”re Man United “cause me Dad”s job. But at home it”s Everton all the way – that”s in me Dad”s blood cos it were his first team. (Don”t tell Sir Alex)
July: Mam took me to the Bahamas and we met a dolphin. He was dead cool! He had a shiny head with no hair on it at all. He should get a transplant, same as Dad!
Left – August: Mam Tweeted that I was her little Woody. I”d rather be Buzz Lightyear and go to infinity and beyond. Just like me dad”s wages! Right – September: It”s important to brush me teeth so I”m photogenic. Mam says if I don”t look as good in pictures as the Beckham boys, I”m in big, big trouble
October 31: I love Hallowe”en, and I always dress up as a scary monster. Mam says Dad doesn’t need a mask; Right: November 2: It”s me 2nd birthday, so here”s a funny picture of a cheeky monkey. And me favourite chair, too!