Fifty SHEDS of Grey: Man whose erotic "shed porn" Twitter account won him 90,000 followers sees obsession turned into book

Now it's Fifty Sheds Of Grey: Comedy Twitter account turned into hilarious book with plenty of strange contraptions (but a lot less sex)
Colin Grey started tweeting in June and quickly notched up 90,513 followers
Grey refers to himself as a 'passionate gardener and amateur shed owner'Now he releases Fifty Sheds of Grey: A Parody: Erotica for the not-too-modern male
'Until my wife bought
“that book”, my life was calm and pain-free,' he says of Fifty Shades. 'Now I'm buying locks and chains in all shapes and sizes'

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UPDATED:

13:53 GMT, 5 October 2012

The comical Twitter account Fifty Sheds of Grey – a 'shed-based erotica' spoof of Fifty Shades – is now being published as a book.

The man behind the Fifty Sheds phenomenon, Colin Trevor Grey – who describes himself as a 'passionate gardener and amateur shed owner' – has been treating followers to pictures of sexy sheds and Carry On-style erotic puns since June.

Most are horticulture-themed, but many offer hilarious snapshots of his everyday life.

Shed porn: Colin Grey, who won global fame (and 90,000 followers) with his erotic shed-themed tweets from his @FiftyShedsOfGrey Twitter account has compiled a selection of the best into a new book

Shed porn: Colin Grey, who won global fame (and 90,000 followers) with his erotic shed-themed tweets from his @FiftyShedsOfGrey Twitter account has compiled a selection of the best into a new book

Along with pictures of sexy sheds, Colin posts funny tweets based on his experiences in the garden... 'My body writhed and quivered from the pain. I had learned my lesson. Never again would I leave an upturned plug on the floor'

Along with photos of sexy sheds, Colin posts tweets based on his experiences in the garden: 'My body writhed and quivered from the pain. I had learned my lesson. Never again would I leave an upturned plug on the floor'

After accumulating over 90,000 followers thanks to daily tweets such as '”Give it to me now and give it to me hard!' she
begged. “Alright,” I said, “But I still think a Viennetta's better when
it's defrosted,”' the time has come for Colin to publish
a book of his funniest tweets.

'A very nice chap from Pan Macmillan
came knocking on my shed door after he saw me on Twitter,' he says. 'He said he
thought mine was a story the world had to hear and offered me a contract
there and then.

'Although, I have to admit I was a little wary – the
last contract I signed was one my wife drew up after reading “that book”
and it resulted in me spending every Thursday morning being led round
Sainsbury’s in handcuffs and a rubber thong,' he said.

When his wife picked up Fifty Shades he says he was unwittingly thrust head-first into the mysterious, illicit world of
pleasure and pain – and his happy and simple life changed forever.

Looking for a way to express his frustrations, Colin took to Twitter. 'I write my Twitter account alone in my
shed. It’s the only place I can get a moment’s peace – at least, it was.

Horticultural erotica: 'We tried various positions: round the back, on the side, up against a wall... but in the end we came to the conclusion that the bottom of the garden was the only place for a really good shed

Horticultural erotica: 'We tried various positions: round the back, on the side, up against a wall… but in the end we came to the conclusion that the bottom of the garden was the only place for a really good shed

'I just tweet about my everyday life which, up until my wife bought
“that book”, was perfectly calm and relatively pain-free. Since that
fateful day, however, I’ve had to spend a small fortune on chains and
locks of all types and sizes. She still manages to get into the shed
though,' he said.

Following the fastest-selling paperback of all time comes Colin's Fifty Sheds of Grey: A Parody: Erotica for the not-too-modern male.

'My
wife doesn’t know I’ve written a book yet. I’m hoping she doesn’t find
out, to be honest, as it contains intimate details of past
indiscretions, including my deflowering at the hands of an older woman –
I went into her shed a boy and came out a man.'

'This is the story of one man's struggle against a
tide of tempestuous, erotic desire and of the greatest love of all: the
love between a man and his shed,' he said.

The caution that comes with the spoof
book goes: WARNING: This book contains graphic shed-based images. Please
don't look if you are easily offended.

Erotic desire: Colin says the greatest love of all is the love between a man and his shed - and confesses he was deflowered in a shed as a boy by an older woman

Erotic desire: Colin says the greatest love of all is the love between a man and his shed – and confesses he was deflowered in a shed as a boy by an older woman

She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then harder until finally it came. I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot...

She knelt before me on the shed
floor and tugged gently at first,
then harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for
the other boot…

COLIN'S PEARLS OF WISDOM

'I wanted to share my
experiences as a young man working as a “ladies” gardener. For
instance, back in those days it was common for a woman’s lawn to be wild
and overgrown but nowadays the tendency is for just a small strip or no
lawn at all.'

'I write my Twitter account alone in my
shed. It’s the only place I can get a moment’s peace – at least, it was.'

'I just tweet about my everyday life which, up until my wife bought
“that book”, was perfectly calm and relatively pain-free. Since that
fateful day, however, I’ve had to spend a small fortune on chains and
locks of all types and sizes. She still manages to get into the shed
though.'

'A very nice chap from Pan Macmillan said he
thought mine was a story the world had to hear and offered me a contract
there and then. Although, I have to admit I was a little wary – the
last contract I signed was one my wife drew up after reading “that book”
and it resulted in me spending every Thursday morning being led round
Sainsbury’s in handcuffs and a rubber thong.'

But Colin makes no apologies for his opus. 'I felt it was time for the world to
hear a male point of view. “That book” apparently goes into great detail
about a woman’s “inner goddess” – I thought it was important for men to
get in touch with their inner gardener.

'I also wanted to share my
experiences as a young man working as a “ladies” gardener. For
instance, back in those days it was common for a woman’s lawn to be wild
and overgrown but nowadays the tendency is for just a small strip or no
lawn at all,' he said.

Asked about his experiences on Twitter he confessed, 'I
did get a tweet from someone claiming that my book possessed the ideal
surface-to-weight ratio for spanking purposes. I’m not entirely sure
what they meant by that but my wife has been eyeing it keenly.

'My
wife seems to be very impressed that I’m being followed on Twitter by
someone called EL James, although I can’t say I’ve ever heard of him. I
expect he’s one of those gangster rapper types.'

'I’m
a huge fan of S&M – as far as I’m concerned, you just can’t beat
sheds and mowers. As for “that book”, I’m afraid my wife still hasn’t
let me read it – she says I won’t understand it.

'She’s probably right –
if it’s not about someone sticking some kind of big tool into something,
I’m not interested.'

Described as 'erotica for the not-too-modern male' Colin's Twitter comes under the tag @50ShedsofGrey

Described as 'erotica for the not-too-modern male' Colin's Twitter comes under the tag @50ShedsofGrey

Colin has been posting photos of 'sexy' sheds on his Twitter account Fifty Sheds of Grey

Colin has been posting photos of 'sexy' sheds on his Twitter account Fifty Sheds of Grey

Fifty Sheds of Grey: A Parody: Erotica for the not-too-modern male is published by Boxtree. Available in hardback for 9.99 or ebook for 99p

(Fifty Sheds of Grey is not prepared, authorised, licensed, approved or endorsed by the author or the publishers of Fifty Shades of Grey)