Don"t patronise me because I"m not a middle-aged man

Don”t patronise me because I”m not a middle-aged man

9:21 PM on 18th May 2011

Funny, outrageous and downright rude. Who’s in Liz Jones’ firing line this week

Things that have sent me into a rage this week:

1. News that any interest paid to me for having money in my bank account is not only taxed automatically by my bank, it is taxed at 50 per cent. Isn’t this encouraging us all to have permanent overdrafts

Random acts of sexism: Liz Jones doesn

Random acts of sexism: Liz Jones doesn”t know if her car ignition needs replacing but doesn”t like being patronised (posed by model)

2. The customer service manager at BMW Holland Park, who phoned to ask me, as he told me my bill was now hovering near 6,000, whether or not I wanted the ignition switch replaced.

How the heck should I know Am I wearing greasy overalls ‘Well, if we don’t replace it and it breaks in the future, you can’t come back to us and ask why we didn’t mend it.’

3. Being sold hard avocados.

4. Random act of sexism, part one. Read this email sent to me from the estate agent who has been trying to sell my house for the past year.I told him I was having the outside painted and a new bathroom put in: ‘Hi Liz. Don’t spend too much! It’s a very difficult market at the moment.’

Would he, seriously, have sent that email to a posh, middle-aged man! How patronising!

Random act of sexism, parts two and three. A builder came to give an estimate, which I have yet to receive many weeks later, for fitting a new bathroom and said: ‘You don’t like mess, do you’ Who does

My gardener refers to me as ‘a good girl’ and ‘ravenous’ (I think he means ravishing). I frequently storm out on to the lawn shouting: ‘Don’tlook upon me!’

Appreciates her shape: Eva Mendes

Appreciates her shape: Eva Mendes

Don’t you just love celebrity interviews I sometimes wonder, can they hear their own voice talking

Here is Eva Mendes in InStyle: ‘I’m obsessed with chocolate. Cookies, mousse. I’ve recently started eating dark chocolate. It’s so important to know and understand your shape and appreciate what you’ve got.’

She goes on to describe her workout routine: she goes to the gym three or four times a week.

On other days, she hikes up to the Hollywood sign; most mortals expire halfway up. She also practises yoga twice a week. She SO appreciates her shape!

This is Thandie Newton, also in InStyle.

She talks about funding her trip to the Congo to help women suffering from domestic violence, but then says, of a trip to India: ‘I haggled like a bitch to get a good price on the silver bangles in a market in Jaipur.’

I never understand why rich Westerners think it’s OK to haggle with really poor people. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should . . .

This is the new ad for Pringle of Scotland, starring Tilda Swinton, who is always paraded as one of the more intelligent, Left-wing of actresses.

Why, then, is she wearing a fur coat and holding a spaniel Has that famous, right-on brain been addled by Hollywood

How can she pose so blatantly and so ignorantly Maybe it’s not a spaniel at all, but a handbag, merely made from dog

Ignorant pose: Tilda Swinton models fur while holding a dog

Ignorant pose: Tilda Swinton models fur while holding a dog