Disastrous dates that caused quite a Twitter!


He opened the door in a dressing gown with an electronic tag on his ankle: Disastrous dates that caused quite a Twitter!

Most people have suffered an excruciating date. And a growing number have turned to social networking site Twitter to share their experiences — in 140 characters or less. Now a book has collated the most hilarious examples…

Met him at his flat. He opened the door in a dressing gown with an electronic tag on his ankle. ‘Shall we just stay in’

My date told me I looked quite attractive, from a certain angle.

Didn't click: Dating in the modern world means tweeting if it doesn't go well (posed by models)

Didn't click: Dating in the modern world means tweeting if it doesn't go well (posed by models)

He read me a four-page poem about a girl who wasn’t me. He read it twice as I had failed to give it enough attention the first time.

Me: ‘Let’s split the bill.’ Him: ‘I should think so, too. My mum didn’t burn her bra so women like you could get a free meal.’

We bumped into my Dad. He took one look at my date and said: ‘You’ve got to be joking, Lorna.’

I pointed at his wedding ring. ‘Oh, sorry.’ He put it in his pocket. ‘So, where were we’ he said.

He refused to walk me to a taxi at 3am because ‘statistically, I’m more likely to be attacked than you.

He kept on an overly large coat throughout. The reason became clear when he stole my handbag while I was in the toilet.

He pretended to be a doctor. When rumbled, he said he was a secret agent posing as a doctor.

He insisted I pay for dinner because I made more money than him. He then said: ‘You may make more money, but I’m better looking.’

He turned up late, on the phone to a friend. He said to the friend: ‘I’ll call you back in . . .’ (looked me up and down) ‘. . . about 45 minutes.’

From C**p Dates by Rhodri Marsden, to be published by Simon & Schuster on February 2 at 6.99. 2012 Rhodri Marsden. To order a copy for 6.49 (including p&p), call 0843 382 0000.