Confessions of a fashionista: Above and beyond the pool of duty

Confessions of a fashionista: How spoilt little rich kids in the fashion industry get away with MURDER (and I have to help them)



09:26 GMT, 18 May 2012



17:54 GMT, 18 May 2012

Working as an agent in the fashion industry I'm expected to go above and beyond my normal job description in order to help my artists out. My job is to make their lives run smoother.

Even artists who are represented by other agents in my agency ask for help. And it is more than my job is worth to say no.

Here is the perfect example.

'I need you to do something for me’ Spoilt Snapper sidles up to me.

She's a petulant photographer who skipped studying photography and the assisting stage because her Dad is a hotshot advertising mogul. Instead of working her way to the top of the fashion pack, she rode up on Daddy's little black book.

Members' clubs like East London's Shoreditch House boast rooftop swimming pools

Members behaving badly: Private clubs like East London's Shoreditch House boast rooftop pools – but expect those using them to behave with decorum

She's not usually my problem, so what does she want I manage a friendly smile.

‘I hear you're good at writing’

In an industry where people use the phrases 'totes' and 'amazeballs' without irony, this is not a difficult thing. I ask her what she needs.

‘I want you to write a letter of complaint to my private members' club,’ she says.

'Did they make your cocktail wrong,' I wonder silently. ‘What is the nature of the complaint,' I ask her politely.

Spoilt Snapper helps herself to the emery board I keep on my desk and starts filing her nails. 'They've barred me. It's outrageous, I have never been treated like this in my life.'

I bet you haven't. 'How awful, what happened' I may as well get the gossip, while I'm here.

'Someone tampered with my drink, so I was a bit tipsy.'

You mean you'd been drinking all day, again

'And because I was under the influence, my friend the very famous supermodel…'

Name dropper.

'… joked I should jump in the pool. So I did.' She shrugs her shoulders. 'They've completely overreacted.'

'I thought the pool was open to all members'


Exclusive: A Private Members' Club on Stephen's Green, Dublin

Exclusive: A Private Members' Club on Stephen's Green, Dublin

I'm confused. 'So, what is the problem That you were drunk… Er, I mean you had your drink spiked so you were under the influence'

'No, it was 1.30 in the morning and I had my clothes on.'

The penny drops like a drunken photographer into the pool. 'Oh.'

'It is totes outrageous, right' Spoilt Snapper huffs.

You were drunk and dive-bombed into a pool in the early hours of the morning. It sounds stupid and dangerous, no wonder they barred you.

'Yes, dreadful.'

'They have banned me for three months. Three months! Where am I going to go to eat'

Home It's called a kitchen, ever heard of it 'I'll see what I can do.'

I wrote a grovelling apology to the club and signed it off from Spoilt Snapper.

The ban was reduced to a month.

Spoilt Snapper complained to my boss that I hadn't tried hard enough. Gratitude is not her strength.

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