'Ellie will always be my life partner': Fianc's heartfelt tribute after losing bride-to-be weeks before wedding to cancer
12:55 GMT, 11 June 2012
Today Ellie Jeffery and Tom Thostrup were meant to celebrating their first day as a married couple.
But just three weeks ago Ellie, from Brixton, south London, lost her three-year battle with breast cancer.
Since being diagnosed with the disease in 2009 she moved thousands of online followers with her blog writtenoff.net which tracked her daily highs and lows.
Happy memories: Tom Thostrup pictured on holiday with Ellie Jeffery before she lost her battle with cancer
In her first post she told readers: ‘At 28 I was diagnosed with secondary
breast cancer that had spread to my lungs, liver and bones.'
But determined not to give up she added: ‘I was given months to live by my doctor.
It sounds grim but what I hope to prove in my blog is that doctors
aren’t always right and that you can live a relatively normal, dare I
say fabulous, life despite having cancer.'
The couple who met through an internet dating site had planned a wedding in North Yorkshire on June 10.
Unsure how to cover her head for her big day after losing her hair following chemotherapy treatment, Ellie had even been gifted with a made-to-measure wig from friend Miffy Grubb who donated her own locks.
However barely 20 days before she was due to marry the 29-year-old passed away in the early hours of May 18 after a nine-day stay at James Cook hospital in Middlesbrough.
Before: Ellie Jeffery, right, with her friend Miffy Grubb, who volunteered to donate her hair to the cancer victim
After: Miffy, left, shares Ellie's bald look after allowing her to shear off her locks
Taking to her blog TV producer fianc Tom , 35, constructed a post titled 'The post I never wanted to write' writing: 'Sadly it’s not Ellie writing this but Tom. Ellie passed away in the early hours.
'Everything happened so much more quickly than we had anticipated.
'When the doctors told us just a few days before Ellie died that she wouldn’t last until the wedding date I debated trying to arrange a wedding in the hospital. However, being on so much pain medication had caused Ellie to drift in and out of lucidity.
'Occasionally she would acknowledge the lack of time remaining and the next she would be arranging plans for the wedding guests to go for a walk on the beach the day after the ceremony.
'During one of her periods of clarity I asked her if she wanted to get married on the ward; she instinctively said no – she didn’t want to be wheeled up the aisle.'
Tom now plans on publishing her blog, as
well as raising money for charities she supported.
He adds: 'While we desperately wanted to marry each other, we didn’t need any old ceremony to validate our love.
'Our lives were utterly entwined, and whatever happens from now on I’ll always regard Ellie as my life partner.'
To donate to Ellie’s fund, please visit: mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/ellieactionagainstcance
TOM'S WEDDING SPEECH
Ladies, gentlemen and of course my amazing wife Ellie Thostrup, I’d like to start by thanking you all for taking the time and effort to come to be here today. People have come from Denmark, Spain, France, Italy, Slovakia, Holland, Germany, Australia and even Scotland so we’re very grateful to everyone for travelling to a place you probably never imagined yourselves visiting. Please feel free to avail yourselves of the local Whitby Dog ale but if you find yourselves getting peckish in town later tonight and someone offers you a parmo it’s probably best to just say no.
Ellie and I would like to thank her beautiful bridesmaids: Sarah, Miffy and Jess and her little flower girl Izzy. We’ve got a little thank you for you (give gifts)
We’d also like to thank the best men Kamron and Mike (give gifts) and our ushers Terry, James and Ali. Nothing for you guys, I’m afraid – you have to draw the line somewhere.
I’d like to thank my mum and Ellie’s parents for their contributions to the wedding and personally I’d also like to thank Ellie’s mum Chris and dad Keith for raising such a remarkable human being. Ellie is everything I have ever wanted in a girl; she’s beautiful, funny, loving, inspiring and challenging. She supports and encourages me, she indulges my follies but also reins me in when necessary – sometimes more often than necessary as far as I’m concerned!
She’s a source of inspiration – the company Michael and I have started bears her name and without her we wouldn’t have got our first commission (catch it on E4 this October!). She advises me what to wear to look less like an unemployed teenager (admittedly, I frequently ignore that advice), and in exchange I correct her spelling and grammar. We’re a perfect match.
Everyone who meets Ellie is charmed by her. People love spending time with Ellie and I’m so grateful that she’s chosen me to be her husband, the one who gets the lion’s share of her time. I think you all know that it’s not been the easiest time of late, but whatever the circumstances and wherever we find ourselves you know I love you and I promise that I will always do everything in my power to make our married life as happy as you make me.
(Toast) To Ellie Thostrup