'I felt like everyone would be better off without me': Andrea McLean opens up on her battle with post-natal depression
With yesterday's announcement that she and husband Steve Toms have ended their marriage, Andrea McLean has plenty of turmoil to deal with in her personal life.
But the Loose Women star has come forward today with yet more revelations – this time about her battle with post-natal depression.
Andrea, 42, has described how she felt she was 'cracking up' following the birth of her daughter Amy in 2006.
Personal struggle: Andrea McLean, pictured today, has revealed new details of her battle with post-natal depression in her new book
In a serialisation of her autobiography Confessions Of A Good Girl in the Daily Mirror, McLean reveals new details about her three-year struggle to cope.
'I went to work every day, held down two demanding jobs – GMTV and Loose Women – and didn’t let anything rufﬂe me,' McLean writes. 'I made sure the house ran smoothly and the two children were happy.
'But quietly, on my own, I felt I was cracking up.'
Bad week: The revelations come a day after the announcement of the end of Andrea's marriage
McLean reveals that an umbilical hernia sparked a roller coaster of emotions that led to a very dark place for the star.
Returning to work so soon after the birth of her second child did not help matters, she says.
'I was doing what I always did: I was coping and being good – while underneath I felt hopeless, worthless and exhausted.'
She recalls a particular low point
when she attempted to confide in her now-estranged husband Steve: 'I
felt like everyone would be better off without me… and that night I
tentatively mentioned it to him,' Andrea says.
Downward spiral: The 42-year-old admits she struggled to cope after the birth of second child Amy in 2006
'Steve was livid. “What a stupid thing to
say!” he snapped, jumping out of bed. “I won’t have you saying things
like that. Just sort yourself out and deal with it.”'
Andrea eventually sought help from a doctor and was prescribed with anti-depressants. It took just one month for her to start feeling better.
'I know some people think
antidepressants are a crutch for pathetic people who can’t deal with
life. But they are wrong,' she says.
'Within a month of taking my tablets I woke up one day and felt like someone had ﬂicked a switch in my brain.'
the television star is back on track following her post-natal
depression, her personal life has taken another battering this week
after she announced her separation from Toms.
held it together over Christmas for the kids but then on Boxing Day I
took them to stay with my parents – and that was the end,' she told the
Split: Andrea and husband Steve Toms announced they were separating yesterday
'I’m still in shock. When I hear myself talking about “my first marriage breakdown” then “this time round,” the words are like a stab in the heart. Because I simply can’t believe I’m in this position again. People think I’m Snow White… the most boring person in the world! I’ve only ever slept with two men and I married them both.
'I’ve always been choosy and never played the field but now here I am… a single mum with two children by two different husbands and two failed marriages behind me.
She added: 'I feel I have let my children down. They don’t deserve this.'
Andrea wed Steve in August 2009, after having an affair with the builder six years earlier, cheating on her first husband, Nick Green.