A weeper, a peak-too-sooner or a dancer: Which office party character are YOU
Experts have identified the 10 party personalities at every staff bash
12:53 GMT, 12 November 2012
Are you a Houdini, a Dark Horse or a Limpet at the office Christmas party
Or maybe you're a Weeper, who can't leave their personal problems at the door, a Peak-too-sooner or a Dancer.
Experts claim they've identified exactly 10 party 'characters' who will turn up at every single staff party, regardless of where it is, which industry or trade throws the bash, or how many people attend.
Experts claim that there are ten types of office party character… but which one are you
The classic office party, will follow an almost formulaic pattern, according to the study by general managers for the national bar and brasserie chain, Browns.
'The faces may change as quickly as the music at these staff parties but one thing is constant – the 10 staff party characters who are present,' said spokesman Paul Hulyer.
'Never is that more obvious than at the annual staff Christmas party. These character traits seem common at every staff party we've hosted since we were established in the 1970s.
'We reckon everyone can name someone who fits each of these categories our experts have devised.'
THE 10 OFFICE PARTY CHARACTERS
This man or woman is the office
Christmas party evangelist.
They help round up the troops in advance of
the annual bash and make wild promises of incredible party feats and
promises of being the last-man or woman standing at the after-party
Unfortunately, they are then found just 90 minutes into the
festive bash, candle well and truly burnt at both ends, snoozing quietly
in the corner.
Could you be the peak-too-sooner who makes great promises only to be found snoozing by midnight
You've had your suspicions about this
staff member all year and, as the Christmas party celebrations start to
unfold, they confirm your worst fears; they've made you the target of
their inappropriate advances for the duration of the evening.
off the night pleasantly enough – innocently offering to buy you a
drink – but then suddenly turn, shunning every other member of staff and
focus their attention solely on you (or a particularly inappropriate
part of your body).
They make lewd suggestions almost as an
afterthought, sit uncomfortably close to you and growl at other members
of their sex who have the misfortune of straying innocently into your
vicinity throughout the evening.
Do you set your sights on a colleague and make a beeline for them when drunk Yes, you are the flirt
They've been the picture of discretion
all year, hiding their simmering discontent at not getting that
pay-rise or failing in that promotion behind a fagade of normality.
once the festive spirit takes them, their lips become loose and they
begin to announce, at raised volume, how rubbish it is working at their
They also suddenly find it impossible to maintain company
secrets or private disclosures. Nothing is out of bounds and, before the
end of the evening, any confidential company business is suddenly
common knowledge among the entire workforce.
Often found at the root of
any Christmas party squabbles.
Often best-friends with the
Peak-too-sooner and the Organiser, the Houdini seems well up for plenty
of festive frolics in the lead-up to the staff Christmas do.
go as far as helping organise venues for the hardy party animals to go
to after the main event has subsided.
Unfortunately, this party 'type'
is usually never around when the aprhs-party begins, having sloped off
home for an early-night and a mug of Horlicks discreetly while the rest
of the workforce is still in full-party mode.
The Limpet can be found cooing to their boss and laughing at their cringey jokes
Usually in their early 30s
and often a new parent or horribly infatuated with their lover.
The Dark Horse
Quiet as a mouse all year round this
pinstriped staff member suddenly, frighteningly finds their outrageous
inner self at the Christmas party.
While they wouldn't say boo to a
goose in normal office hours they suddenly think it is perfectly
acceptable to go round helping themselves to colleagues' drinks and
dancing inappropriately close to members of the opposite sex.
also likely to announce that they used to be lead singer in a death
metal band once they'd quit their job as a dancer at a seedy revue bar.
Often to be found working the floor in tandem with The Flirt.
You can easily spot this s(h)elfish
staff member at the Christmas party because they are irremovably welded
to the side of their departmental boss.
They'll be the one heartily
laughing at their boss's awful jokes, cooing cringefully at their boss's
development plan and happily skipping off to the bar and buying their
boss drinks all night out of their own pocket.
They'll also be the one
left looking heartbroken as their boss exits the party early without
hearing their full 14-part eulogy to their boss's greatness, written in
staggering techni-coloured fawning detail (in their own blood).
be found, at the end of the night, in the toilets, attempting to outcry
The staff member who steadfastly,
resolutely refuses to leave their personal problems at the door to the
Christmas party venue.
Forgot to leave your personal problems at the door Meet the Weeper
They wear their heart on their sleeve and spread
their misty-eyed romantic delusions of love through snotty tear-stained
tissues thrust into the clammy hands of colleagues unfortunate enough to
aimlessly wander into the toilets while The Weeper is mid-shriek over
the untimely ending of their torrid love affair with Tommy, the
They cry so much and so often at
Christmas parties that The Organiser has stopped booking them a seat at
the annual dinner table and has simply arranged for them to be hooked up
to the water mains in order to replenish lost hydration.
Always a decade beyond their prime,
The dancer will bust all manner of old-school moves at the office party
following years of secret attendance at their local community centre's
Thought you'd seen the last of the hand-jive Oh
no you haven't.
And you've never ever seen anyone under the age of 25
attempt that backflip into a John Travolta strut before.
member will not vacate the dance floor – tonight it is their personal
stage and the masses of open-mouthed colleagues sitting around the
vicinity of the dance floor are their greatest audience.
for christenings, barmitzvahs and evening wedding receptions.
Think you've got the moves like Jagger You probably haven't
Woe betide anyone who decides to
change their Christmas dinner choice at the staff party or bemoans the
quality of the venue, The Organiser will be firmly, angrily on your
This diminutive staff member has spent years scaring the pants off
the biggest characters in the staff canteen, honing their withering
Paddington stare to perfection.
They have a list of everything
(including other lists) and have arranged the staff party with military
No matter you have just ordered a full round of drinks for
you and your colleagues, if The Organiser says it is time to move on,
you move on.
No argument, you shuffle into the dining room and leave
your drinks behind (they're banned from this room because The Organiser
has arranged special Christmas cocktails to be served).
Usually a friend (or lover) of a staff
member, The Gatecrasher has already been out on their own staff party
at a venue across town earlier in the evening.
They turn up at yours,
risking the wrath of The Organiser and invite themselves to share the
paid-for after-dinner activities.
Convinced that they have injected new
life into your they'll be so sure of their 'legend' status they'll even
try and cheer up The Weeper before attempting to solve world famine,
challenge The Dancer to a Step Up-style dance-off and demand that your
boss tell them exactly what it is like being a PA.